Da Juana Byrd

Tomorrow is Connie’s birthday and she is going to spend a big part of it with me. Wouldn’t you know that it would be just like me to have a close girlfriend that was born in the same month as I was? I couldn’t help it. The first time I met her it was as if we were long lost sisters. She lights up a room when she enters it. Always looking at the better parts of people but on occasion my sweet little southern sister can say a bad word. You want that in a friend.

She’s taken some of my worst. Like the time she was writing a check for something she had bought. This woman is a shopper. Well, I was standing next to her and kind of glanced over with a look of hurt on my face. That’s what the sales person saw too. Then very sweetly, I told Connie how much I loved her. The next sentence went something like this: “Though I love you Connie, I really want you to quit sleeping with my husband. You know I love you both but this has to stop.”

On cue, Connie throws her head up and looks at me and says with all the dignity she could muster, “Da Juana?”

The sales person could only see the floor. Her head was glued downward but I did catch a glimpse of her trying to see if I would murder Connie right there. I added, “Please stop,” with all the pressure I could put into the two words. Nothing Connie could say would make the lady change her mind about the home wrecking friend she was.

So, I guess I owe it to her to be nice tomorrow. You know, though I don’t lie, Connie is so easy. And we laugh a lot. Happy Birthday Eve my friend. Do you think I’m bad?

Da Juana

Debra told me her story about the elevator she has been stuck in when she read my fear blog. That got me to thinking. Don’t you love those words?

I remember as a child when I used to have a recurring dream of being stuck in the old Bernhardt building elevator. That wasn’t bad enough. The floor of the elevator would start to slant with me at the top of the building that was way high back then, four stories. The memories of how that dream affected me are still with me today. Even the mention of the old Bernhardt building brings back the thoughts of trying to fight my way off the elevator, even hanging on and dangling from the slanted floor four stories above the basement.

Back then, my aunt and her friend took me to the Bernhardt building to shop without knowing that I had been dreaming of this place for years before ever going up into it or really even knowing it existed. At any rate, we are coming down after going up and I remember being between the two of them. As I recall, my legs started giving out because the memory of the dream took over and I started sliding down the back wall of the elevator. This must have been close to the time my mother left because I don’t remember being very old. Instead of the floor slanting and my dangling, by the time we reach the bottom, I have fainted. A full southern girl swoon. My aunt noticed and pulled me back up to a standing position. See, you’re not supposed to do things like that where I came from. That fainting spell, which has only happened twice in my life that I can remember but without both being in an elevator, continued those devastating recurring dreams. It was because I couldn’t control my situation. Still don’t love elevators but will use them when I have to.

Another time on an elevator, about 3-6 years ago, the elevator stopped, shall we say, high-up between floors, and it was packed. The Bernhardt building elevator came back to me quickly. And when people noticed my pale expression, Claude mentioned that I was claustrophobic. One sweet woman decided to start jumping up and down to show me that we would be fine. After about the fourth jump, as nicely as I could say it between my gritted teeth, I told the sweet young lady that if she ever wanted to get off the ……..elevator, then perhaps she should stop now…..because I was beginning to turn from remembering how the Bernhardt elevator had done my mind to thinking of how she might take my mind off my situation when I……..anyway, thank God, she stopped. And I remain, hopefully, the nice person that I and others think I am. Maybe it was the look I had on my face or maybe she had a psychic moment or maybe it was because another nice lady there told her that she shouldn’t make this any worse for me.

My point is, Debra, no sane person wants to be on an elevator, especially one that goes very high up into the atmosphere, you know what I mean. And maybe, you were sensing a problem with this elevator. Give yourself a break like I almost gave that sweet, young, jumping lady. Sit down and meditate for a moment about what you were feeling and whether there will be problems with that elevator later. And know you are not the only one that can have that out-of-control feeling.

Da Juana

Fear is a topic I would like to bring to the forefront today because so many people live in fear. Fear of too little money, too little love, illness and on and on plagues people. As creators, we are totally responsible for our lives. If we live in fear, then fear is all we’ll ever see.

The Bible says of Job, “That which I fear most has come.” He lost everything, in case you didn’t know, including his family, had boils and was asked to turn away from God. But he kept his faith. In the end that was all he had. He didn’t blame God. There was no blame.

The item I want to look over though is what he said. If you fear something so much that you give it thought and emotion, it is being conceived just like an unwanted pregnancy. Whether you let it grow to become something you have to nourish for a long while is another thing. What I am trying to say is try not to fear anything to the point that you give it credence. Have positive thoughts and manifest what you desire because you are the only one who can make things happen for you. Make it good.

And don’t tell me that your boss has control of your making extra money. Your boss watches you to see how you approach your job. You have control of what he or she sees you doing at work. You see what I mean.

Make you life the best you can by leaving fear behind.

Da Juana